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Lauren Smelcher

Lauren Smelcher

As Online and Entertainment Editor, I edit the website, interview celebrities and get to listen to cool new albums for the mag's Watch & Listen pages. Every few nights, I'm a proud guest at the opening of an envelope (or at least, the spruiking of one) and my desk is frequently flooded with DVDs, books and movie passes.

Etiquette dilemma no. 5632: The Hen's Night

Ever since D and I got engaged, people have been asking about the hen's night. Well, not "people" per se. More like two or three very close friends, who really want to help organise it. Which, by the way, is totally fine by me!

The question is, though, how much can you expect your guests to fork out for your hen's night? I want to invite all the ladies coming to the wedding. I think it's the courteous thing to do, and also a really nice way for people to get to know each other before the wedding. So this means there will probably be around 35 to 40 women invited.

My original plan was dinner somewhere nice, followed by drinks. I figured people could stay for dinner and leave afterwards if they needed to. The stayers would be there for the long haul, but if people had other commitments (or, for instance, are my grandmother) they could leave. But then (!) I heard about The Artful Hen, a life drawing session specifically for hen's nights. I think it's a great idea (and so do my Chief Organisers) but at $40 per person, it's on the pricey side if you then go out for dinner and drinks. I definitely don't want to make people feel uncomfortable about spending the money, but I do think it would be a fun night.

What do you think? Should I just do the life drawing, and leave it up to the individuals to see if they want to do dinner afterwards? Am I worrying about nothing? Tell me how you solved your hen's night dilemmas. I am all ears!

Lauren x
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Comments (34)

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    I had my hen's recently and I think it is reasonable to ask for between $50 to $100. Depending how much is included of course. In the end of day, the girls will want to spend time with the bride to be and celebrate the last night as single. If they are too tight to pay $50, the question then is are they really friends and actually it is really worth inviting them to your wedding since the costs of the wedding is between $150 to $200.
  • Report this »
    actually good point Jasmin, if theyre too tight to spend $50 to spend the night with the bride to be then theyre not a good friend. My maid of honor was too tight to come to my own entertainment ($50 strip show) should I dump her?
  • Report this »
    Another question to consider-would people feel comfortable going to a life drawing class? Personally, I wouldn't want to. For my hens night we are doing a burlesque dance class, it's something a bit fun and flirty but not out right in your face. To annoyed: perhaps your maid of honor didn't want to go to a strip show? She might not have felt comfortable going, but then might not have wanted to offend you or seem prudish.
  • Report this »
    Jasmin/Annoyed - Wow. You can never be aware of people's financial states, as this is something people keep private. You have no idea how much these friends of yours can afford. They're already going to have to buy a present for your wedding. They'll also feel like they need to buy a new dress. They may have to drive a long way & pay for accommodation. They'll have to spend a lot more if they're bridesmaids unless you're covering all costs (which I doubt). Costs start to add up, don't they?
  • Report this »
    To suggest "dumping" someone who you obviously liked enough to call Maid of Honour, just because she didn't want to shell out $50 to watch men dance around (not to mention the drinks, taxi etc she would have had to pay for) suggests to me that you yourself should be dumped!
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