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Cosmo shows you how!

Too scared to be sexy? You need Cosmo's perfect-flirt masterclass — with advice from Judi James, body language expert and author of BodyTalk. She worked with three women to make over their man-snaring technique.

Use your shyness
Rhianna Morrison, 26, a vet, says: "I usually chat happily to both men and women — even good-looking men don't intimidate me. But the moment I find out he's smart and funny and not just easy on the eye (in other words, someone I'd actually fancy), I realise there's more at stake and I get nervous. My friends tell me my body language changes and I look awkward and disinterested."

"Judi explained that I've become locked in a cycle: see guy, fancy guy, start shyness, hate feeling shy, try to mask my shyness, start to look negative," Rhianna says.

"Judi gave me a specific flirting remedy — choreographing my eye contact. You start by glancing down with a small smile and look up again after a couple of seconds. I went out on the weekend, determined to wear my nerves like a sexy new dress!

"At a party I chatted to the DJ and realised we had a lot in common. That would normally have been my cue to forget all conversation, look down and scurry back to my friends. But I forced myself to glance back up to his face every few seconds and when I found myself blushing, I gave him a sheepish smile. We chatted all night and even laughed about the fact that we were both nervous when we first met."

Judi says: "Shyness can be attractive — giggling, face-covering and an initial lack of eye contact are all part of flirting. However, a major element involves the eyes, so when you feel an initial pull of attraction, maintain eye contact."

Become a pro at small talk
Lena Marten, 22, a student, says: "I'm hopeless at making idle chit-chat. I just don't see the point in discussing Australian Idol or the weather! If I'm interested in someone, I find myself starting deep, intense conversations that invariably scare men away. My friends tease me about the way I talk to men, but I'm interested in what makes them tick. I'd like to come off as less intimidating, while still being myself.

"Judi said my flirting style sounds more like I'm interviewing them for the position of prospective mate and that because I get straight to the heart, my conversational style is like sex without the foreplay! She told me to stay relaxed about the pace of the chat and remember it's done for a purpose — to find out more slowly and delve deeper," Lena says.

"As well as brushing up on my small-talk skills, I had to make sure I appeared interested in the answers. This means 100-percent eye contact, nods to register interest, facial mirroring to show empathy and a series of open questions to keep the conversation flowing," she says.

"My flirtation mission was to pick three small-talk subjects and learn all about them. I worked on body language and was determined to be more laidback. Now, I might not be interested in rugby, but I can talk to someone and see why they love it."

Judi says: "Small talk is a vital social ritual. Practise small-talk topics. Try one sport, one TV show and one lightweight news item. It's important to discuss superficial subjects: people are unlikely to reveal their innermost secrets to a total stranger."

Be a flirt, not a man-eater
Kym Lang, 27, a PA, says: "I've always been an outgoing person, but I think it scares men off. My friends say I'm a caricature of a flirt — my eyes widen, I nod attentively to anything men say, laugh loudly at their jokes and use any excuse to touch their arm or leg.

"Judi said I was giving out industrial-strength sex signals, which could make me come off as either aggressive or desperate. My new plan: to rein in my body language and follow the guy's lead for once. For example, only moving closer if he does first or laughing when he laughs. I was quite nervous when I went to the pub to try this out," Kym says.

"My male flatmate introduced me to some of his friends — as I talked to one of them, I found that it was fairly easy to stick to the technique of mirroring a more subtle version of his movements. The highlight was when my flatmate told me a few had been impressed by me — and I hadn't even flirted with them!"

Judi says: "Genuine flirting often involves little more than some eye-to-eye signalling. Blatant sex signals could hide an insecurity, so avoid these! Apply the traffic light rule, where you're only allowed to use one signal of attraction per conversation."