Why guys back away from love

Why he suddenly has to wash his hair...every night

Just when you think your relationship is steadily moving forward, you notice that a full day has gone by without a single e-mail from your guy or he blows you off to hang with his friends. Is he losing interest? Not necessarily.

He's planning a surprise for you
If he has a surprise birthday party or weekend getaway up his sleeve, it may be easier to avoid you than risk tipping you off. "In the weeks before I proposed to my girlfriend I was totally distracted, worrying if she would say yes," says Jonny, 30. "She kept asking me what was wrong and I'd just mumble 'nothing'. She was hating me!"
So if you have a big birthday or anniversary coming up or you're at a major turning point in your relationship, cut him some slack. You can always get annoyed later if nothing materialises!

A pal's been screwed
When one of his friends has been wronged by a woman (cheating, gold digging, sudden craziness), your guy may pull away, trying to gauge if you too have the potential to betray him. "After my friend's girl cheated on him with her ex, I was really standoffish because I knew my girlfriend still talked to her ex," says Steve, 19. "I just wanted to feel like I didn't need her in case she hurt me."
The good news is that as long as you're not doing anything weird, his paranoia will pass.

His job is sucking
Men tend to define themselves by what they do jobwise, so a rocky patch at work can take a personal toll on him. He may need time out from you. "I'm sick of my job, but rehashing my bad days with my girlfriend only extends the pain," says Carlos, 27. "I sometimes dodge her so I can figure it out without her asking a million questions or trying to fix stuff for me."

He's getting skittish
There are obvious perks to having a girlfriend, like companionship and sex. Still, making the move to exclusivity can freak out even good guys. "One night, I missed my friend's birthday bash because I'd gone from work to my girl's pad like I was on autopilot," says Jim, 26. "I realised I needed to take a little break to hang out with my friends and figure out if I really wanted to be so tied down to someone else."

When he pulls back, give him breathing room. The more space you give him, the more he'll trust that his independence isn't in jeopardy.