Recently, I found myself on a flight to Colombia sitting next to a man in green scrubs. He turned out to be a gynaecologist.
When I asked what he specialised in, he didn’t hesitate: “Labiaplasty,” he said, before pulling out his phone and swiping through dozens of before and after photos. He told me he performs up to ten of these surgeries every single day. He was proud of that number.
When I shared that I had once considered the surgery myself, going so far as to book three separate consultations before ultimately choosing to change my mind, not my body, he brushed it off. Instead, he invited me to visit his clinic where I could watch a surgery. He even went as far to say it would improve my pleasure.
This conversation floored me. Not just because of the way he spoke about women’s bodies so casually, so commercially, but because it confirmed something I’ve long suspected: We are in the middle of a silent crisis — one where women and girls are being convinced that their bodies are wrong before they’ve ever been taught what’s normal.
At Comfortable In My Skin, we just released new research that makes this painfully clear. Our survey of over 1,900 women across Australia revealed that 64 per cent of women have felt self-conscious or anxious about the appearance of their vulva. And 23 per cent have considered labiaplasty. Through the work I do, I have heard of some procedures reportedly being done on patients as young as 14.
We are not talking about this enough.
Mainstream media, porn, advertising, and yes, even misinformed medical practices are all shaping how we feel about one of the most intimate parts of our bodies. 65 per cent of women say media representation contributes to their anxiety. Half of the women concerned about their vulva are worried about the size of their labia. And the education system? It’s failing us. Nearly three-quarters leave medical appointments with unanswered questions, and most turn to Google or social media instead.
Let me be clear: I’m not here to shame anyone who chooses surgery. But I am here to say, loudly, that most women are making decisions about their bodies in the dark. With no real understanding of vulva diversity, no language to challenge shame, and no safe space to ask the questions that matter.
Struggling With Vulva Anxiety? You’re Not Alone
If you’re feeling self-conscious or unsure about your vulva, here’s what I want you to know:
- vulvas are incredibly diverse. There is no one “normal” look.
- You are not broken. The discomfort you feel has been shaped by unrealistic images and unspoken expectations — not by your body.
- Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Find trusted resources or professionals who welcome curiosity without judgment.
- If social media is fuelling your shame, curate your feed. Follow educators, advocates, and body-positive voices that reflect real, raw, diverse experiences.
- Most importantly, speak about it. Shame thrives in silence. Community, conversation, and education are your best tools for healing.
This is why I created Flip Through My Flaps: An Exploration of the Vulva, to give women a place to see themselves reflected, to feel less alone, and to learn what’s normal (which, by the way, is a hell of a lot broader than we’ve been led to believe).
I’ll never forget what it felt like walking into those labiaplasty consultations as a young woman, desperate to be told I wasn’t broken. And I’ll never forget that surgeon on the plane, smiling as he swiped through his phone like it was nothing — without their or my consent, I might add.
We’re not broken. But the system that profits off our shame? That is.
It’s time we stopped cutting parts of ourselves off to fit someone else’s version of acceptable. It’s time we taught girls to understand their bodies before trying to fix them. And it’s time to have the real conversation.
Not just about vulvas. But about the stories we’ve been sold and the ones we now get to rewrite.
