Whether you’re ready to try rimming or curious to explore new territory, you’re in the right place. Despite its risqué reputation, rimming is far more common in the bedroom than you might think. Gone are the days when rimming was considered taboo, an act reserved only for the sexually adventurous. If you’re new to anal play, it might seem a bit daring, but who says that’s a bad thing?
What Is Rimming?
Rimming, also known as anilingus, “eating ass”, or a “rim job,” is what we like to call the VIP treatment for your derriere.
“Rimming refers to using one’s mouth or tongue to sexually stimulate another person’s anus,” explains relationship and sex therapist, Selina Nguyen.
Related: Tips For Giving the Best Blow Jobs
What To Know Before Eating Ass For the First Time
If you’re trying rimming for the first time, setting clear expectations with your partner is key.
Before diving in, Selina suggests having a plan to ensure everyone involved feels comfortable and excited. “Definitely make a game plan with your sexual partner about how you can each support each other, whether that’s the receiver being clear and giving ongoing feedback, or both of you setting an expectation that we’re just having a play with it,” Selina advises.
Discussing boundaries and desires beforehand helps take the pressure off, allowing you to focus on enjoying the moment. Remember, you don’t have to get it perfect the first time—or any time, for that matter.
Approaching rimming with curiosity and playfulness can transform the experience from intimidating to exhilarating. “Take the pressure off yourself that you have to do it perfectly the first time around and remember that you’re allowed to change your mind,” Selina emphasises. After all, it’s about exploration.
Is Rimming Good Foreplay—Or Is It the Main Event?
One of the first things to decide is whether rimming will be the main attraction or just the opening act leading to more butt play.
“An important one is getting an idea if rimming is intended as a prelude to anal penetration or just as a yummy experience on its own,” says Selina.
Other areas to explore include how far you’re both comfortable going—whether you plan to stay on the surface of the anus, involve fingers, or toys—and what kind of aftercare you both expect.
Discussing hygiene preferences so everyone feels confident is also a good idea. By setting these expectations upfront, you create a space where both partners can feel safe, sexy, and fully present in the experience.
Butt Play Hygeine
Good hygiene is essential for both comfort and safety when it comes to rimming. “Since rimming tends to be more of a surface-level activity, giving your anus a thorough rinse with warm water and a gentle soap or a baby wipe is usually sufficient,” says Selina.
If you anticipate that rimming might lead to deeper anal play, consider using an anal douche or emptying your bowels half an hour to an hour beforehand. Keeping things clean and comfortable helps you and your partner feel more at ease and focus on the fun.
Once the rimming session is over, a simple rinse or wipe-down is often all that’s needed to stay clean and comfortable. “As for afterwards, again, having baby wipes on hand or a good wash-and-rinse can do the job,” says Selina.
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How To Give a Rim Job
Before diving straight into rimming, take your time and ease into the experience. Warming up by exploring the surrounding areas can build anticipation and make the main event even more pleasurable.
Selina advises against going “directly for the butthole” right away, as this area is rich in sensitive nerve endings that can be overwhelming if stimulated too quickly. Instead, start by nibbling on your partner’s butt cheeks, kissing their inner thighs, and using your hands to roam their body and play with their genitals. This gradual buildup creates desire and arousal, helping the receiver relax and fully enjoy the experience. “As you build this arousal and desire, you can usually see and also feel their anus relaxing,” says Selina.
Once you’re ready to start rimming, there are a variety of tongue techniques to enhance the pleasure. Selina recommends trying out different movements, such as circular motions, up-and-down strokes, or side-to-side swipes. “A flat tongue like you’re licking an ice cream is perfect to start because it covers a lot of surface area and keeps it all moist. You can go in circular motions, up-down, side-to-side,” she explains. Experimenting with these techniques allows you to find what feels best for your partner, making the experience more enjoyable for you both.
To take the rimming experience to the next level, consider incorporating additional sensory elements like your hands and voice. “Get into it, use your moans, use your hands to keep rubbing their butt cheeks or playing with their genitals,” Selina suggests. Don’t be shy about expressing your own pleasure—moans and vocal cues can heighten arousal for both partners. As the intensity builds, you might naturally increase the pressure or point your tongue to explore deeper. The key is to stay in tune with your partner’s reactions, both verbal and non-verbal, to ensure that every moment is as pleasurable as possible.
Is Rimming Dangerous? What Are the Risks?
While rimming can be a pleasurable and intimate experience, it’s essential to be aware of potential health risks, particularly the transmission of sexually transmitted infections (STIs).
Since rimming involves direct contact with the anus, there is a risk of transmitting infections like herpes, gonorrhoea, and Human papillomavirus (HPV). Selina says “dental dams or other barriers are often recommended to prevent STI transmission” and it can help both partners enjoy the experience with peace of mind. Although unlikely, bacterial infections, such as salmonella or E. coli, can also be transmitted through rimming. “There is also a small risk of bacterial infections, so it’s best to steer clear of any butt play if the receiver has had diarrhoea or gastro infections recently,” advises Selina.
Giving the anus a thorough clean before the play begins can further minimise any potential health risks, allowing both partners to focus on enjoying the experience safely.
Does Rimming Work For Everyone?
Even with the best intentions and preparations, discomfort can sometimes arise during rimming. If this happens, it’s important to slow down or pause to reassess the situation. As rimming is typically an external activity, there is generally minimal risk of physical discomfort.
However, if either partner starts to feel uneasy, taking a moment to stop and check-in is crucial. “Always slow it down,” Selina advises.
Whether due to unexpected sensations, a change in mood, or simply needing a break, pausing to address any discomfort can help maintain a positive and safe experience for both partners.
Rimming, like any sexual activity, is ultimately about mutual pleasure, comfort, and connection. With the right mindset and approach, it can be a fun and pleasurable experience for both partners. As Selina reminds us, “Take the pressure off yourself that you have to do it perfectly the first time around and remember that you’re allowed to change your mind.” It’s all about what feels good for you and your partner—so take your time, communicate, and have fun with it!
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This article originally appeared in Issue 02 of Cosmopolitan Australia. Get your copy and subscribe to future issues here.
