Earlier this year, Women’s Health Victoria (WHV) released a report that found labiaplasty—a type of surgery designed to alter the size or shape of one’s labia—was on the rise among Gen Z. A survey of women, girls and gender-diverse people with labia, aged 18 to 50, found one in six were anxious or embarrassed about the appearance of their labia. A further 35 per cent said they associate their labia with negative words like “ugly” or “disgusting.”
The report was naturally concerning, highlighting something that has simmered away in the depths of taboo for some time. It identified porn and social media as two major contributors to labia anxiety, finding that 18 per cent of Gen Zs got their idea of what labia “should look like” from the former, and 30 per cent from the latter.
Due to a range of factors—from cultural stigma to their intimate nature—we don’t tend to see many vulvas other than our own outside of these digital contexts. Accordingly, it can be difficult to discern whether yours is “normal.” Spoiler alert: there is no such thing as a “normal” vagina, vulva or labia. Or, should we say, all of them are normal. As long as your genitals are healthy and not causing you pain or discomfort, chances are you are more than fine.
But sadly, despite the efforts of advocates and sex and body-positive media, many people still have insecurities about their vagina, labia, vulva, etcetera—so much so, that it can impact their lives.
“I think a big contributor to so many women and people with vulvas feeling insecure about the appearance of their genitals is because we actually don’t see the diversity of vulvas,” says somatic and VUSH resident sexologist, Lillie Brown. “In reality, our genitals are as diverse as our faces, but in media, porn and pop culture, we only see a very narrow depiction of vulvas in Australia.”
“When we’re only seeing a certain type of vulva in porn, in media, in pop culture—of course, if you fit outside of that very narrow norm that’s been displayed, you feel self conscious and insecure,” she adds.
These anxieties aren’t helped by the fact that, aside from knowing whether you have an “innie” or an “outie” (thanks for that terminology, TikTok), many of us don’t *actually* know the difference between the parts down there. If you thought that vulva = vagina, you’re not alone. If we lack knowledge about our own anatomy, how can we even discern what’s “normal,” and what’s ‘not?’
If you’re someone who’s questioned “is my vagina normal” on more than one occasion, we’re here to help. With Lillie’s guidance, we’ve broken down all the different bits of your anatomy to know, how to tell if any of it is a cause for concern, and how to work towards a healthy and positive relationship with your own nether regions.
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Vulva vs. Vagina
Okay first of all, it is important to note that when you look at downstairs, you probably aren’t looking at your vagina.
If the only knowledge you have of your own anatomy came from a Year 9 sex education class, chances are you think of the whole package as your vagina. *BUT* this isn’t the case.
A quick rundown: The vulva is the part of your genitals on the *outside* of your body. It is what you see when you look down there and includes your labia, clitoris, vaginal opening, and the opening to the urethra (where you pee from). Many people call this whole area the “vagina” (thanks, crappy school sex ed.) but that’s not the case. The *vagina* is inside your body and extends from the vaginal opening up to your uterus.
“One really practical resource that I always encourage my clients to do is to look up some vulva diversity resources,” says Lillie. She recommends familiarising yourself with different kinds of labia by looking at resources like The Labia Library or Ellie Sedgwick’s book Flip Through My Flaps, both of which are home to countless photos of different vulvas. “I think that’s a really fantastic starting point, so you can actually begin to witness all diversity that’s out there,” Lillie adds.
“When we don’t use the right language and refer to all the all of the externally visible genitals [as the vagina], we’re reducing our pleasure anatomy to just the vagina, and there’s so much more than that,” Lillie notes.
Is My Vagina Normal?
With the above in mind, when you’re asking if your vagina is normal, what you *probably* mean is, is your labia and/or your vulva normal?
The answer: no matter the shape, size, puffiness or colour of your vulva or labia, it’s normal and natural—unless it physically hurts, in which case a chat with your doctor might be a good idea.
How To Get Comfortable With Your Vulva
Despite knowing that—however it looks—your vulva is totally normal, pre-existing ideas of what it “should” look like can still be hard to shake. Getting familiar with your unique anatomy may help with confidence.
In addition to looking at the aforementioned resources, Lillie recommends beginning with a few reflection exercises.
“If you’re feeling particularly anxious or worried about the appearance of your vulva, beginning to do those self reflection pieces [and asking yourself] ‘Where did I learn this’, ‘What has influenced my beliefs here,'” can be helpful, Lillie explains.
Genital Mapping
Next step, genital mapping! While getting down there with a mirror may be confronting, it can be incredibly helpful, too.
“Pull up a diagram on Google and sit in front of a mirror, or use a hand mirror, and go through each anatomical structure and map it on your body,” Lillie instructs. “I think it’s a really important, critical step for everyone with a vulva to get intimately acquainted with your genitals, because through this process we build our confidence, we’re beginning to learn about our body, how we like to be touched, what we don’t like, and this has really important flow on effect into partnered sex, right?”
“If we don’t understand our own body and our own anatomy, and we don’t know how to name and vocalise these parts of our body, it’s almost impossible for us to communicate that to a partner and be able to experience these really intimate, pleasurable, transcendental sexual experiences.”
Lillie notes that it can be a difficult step to take. “Most people I speak to have never looked at their genitals in the mirror. That can be a really uncomfortable experience. So be gentle with yourself, and go at your own pace. Don’t push too far, too hard, too fast.”
“If it feels like this is too much of a big step, you can try paring it back and maybe wearing a robe or something sensual over the top of your body so you can feel like there is that layer of security and comfort as well, which can be quite useful.”
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The Link Between Vulva Anxiety & Sex
The WVH report found that, of all people who reported being anxious or embarrassed by their labia, 62 per cent reported having put off having sex as a result.
Getting comfortable with the appearance of your vulva may help ease anxieties around partners seeing it, and allow you to experience more pleasure.
After you have tried it yourself and feel comfortable, Lillie says that sharing a genital mapping experience with a partner can, “be a really intimate, connective ritual, and helps your partner understand your body.”
She adds: “This is, of course, something that can be repeated for people with penises and everyone, especially who’s in a long term relationship.”
“No matter how long you have been together, no matter how long you’ve been having sex, you will learn something new about your body and your partner’s body. I guarantee.”
the checklist...
We’ve said it so many times that we hope the message is going through: As long as your vulva is not causing you physical pain, it is normal!
If you are hoping to take some steps to getting comfortable with your unique anatomy, we’ve put together a handy checklist for you to tick off at your own leisure (for increased comfort and, as an added bonus, pleasure).
- Get familiar with the diversity of vulvas by checking out gallery recourses like The Labia Library or Flip Through My Flaps.
- Reflect—ask yourself what has informed your beliefs about how your vulva “should” look.
- Genital mapping
- Optional: Genital mapping with a partner.
- Get experimental! Once you are more familiar with your anatomy then why not test new ways to feel pleasure? Did you know that for some people, a vibrator can feel *just* as good on your labia as your clitoris? Or maybe you had never even known the clitoris existed (and now you do—and know *exactly* where to find it). Use your new-found knowledge to experiment with toys on different parts of your genitals. You might just experience some mind-blowing pleasure.
A big thank you to VUSH for partnering with Cosmopolitan Australia to make this article possible.
