FYI, Here’s How To Eat Someone Out

Tips to take your oral sex game to the next level.
Published October 3, 2024
a graphic of underwear with a lipstick kiss mark on them, indicating how to eat pussy

(Image: Ella Sangster/Getty Images)

Cunnilingus—also known as oral sex, giving head, going down or eating out—has long been clouded by myths and misconceptions. But when done right, it can be one of the most intimate and stimulating experiences you can share with a partner. 

Whether you’re looking to perfect your technique, explore new positions, turn up the heat with toys, or simply avoid fatigue, we’ve got the ultimate guide to mastering the art of giving (or receiving) cunnilingus. Keep reading for oral sex tips that will take your head game to the next level—and everything else you could possible want to know about cunnilingus. 

Related: Blow Job Tips For Giving A+ Head

What Is Cunnilingus?

Cunnilingus is the art of giving oral sex to a person with a vulva.

“Cunnilingus can be incredibly pleasurable for both the giver and the receiver and can involve licking, sucking, and flicking the tongue in various ways, as well as incorporating hands into the experience,” explains somatic sexologist Bonnie Bliss.

Where To Begin With Cunnilingus

Understanding the anatomy of the vulva is vital in giving spine tingling oral sex.

While the clitoris often takes centre stage—and for good reason—don’t make the mistake of missing other essential areas.

“The clitoris is an important area to focus on, but it’s not everything,” says Bonnie. She suggests paying attention to the whole vulva, including the  litoral hood, labia minora (inner lips), labia majora (outer lips) and the entrance of the vagina.

Before diving into genital contact, start by engaging in whole-body teasing. According to Bonnie, “Teasing the whole body before any genital contact is important [such as] caressing, stroking and exploring.” As arousal builds, you’ll notice the vulva changing in response by swelling, becoming more sensitive and even changing colour as blood flows to the area.

How To Gauge Your Partner's Pleasure

When it comes to cunnilingus, there’s no ‘one size fits all’ approach. Everybody is unique, and what works wonders for one person might not do much for another. That’s why tuning into your partner’s body and preferences is crucial.

“Pay attention to their breathing, their movement [and] their sounds,” suggests Bonnie. For instance, if your partner moves their vulva closer to your mouth or starts rocking their body, it’s a strong sign that they’re enjoying what you’re doing. Changes in breathing patterns can also be a good indicator of rising pleasure.

Verbal communication is equally important, and it doesn’t have to disrupt the flow of the moment. “It won’t ‘ruin the mood’ to say something, and there are many simple ways to check in without going into a whole conversation,” says Bonnie. “Try ‘Does that feel good?’ or ‘How’s the pressure for you there?’”

Related: Your No-Fuss Guide For Great Shower Sex

Do You Need Lube For Oral Sex?

Lubrication plays a crucial role in making cunnilingus a pleasurable and comfortable experience. But sometimes natural lubrication isn’t enough, or maybe you want a little extra for a smoother experience.

“Saliva also acts as a natural lubricant when giving oral pleasure,” suggests Bonnie. You can also use a personal lubricant when receiving oral pleasure if you prefer. “If you opt for additional lube, it’s important to choose one that’s safe for the vulva,” says Bonnie. “Make sure you choose a water-based lube that uses vegan, medical-grade glycerin.” This ensures that the lube enhances the experience without causing irritation or disrupting the delicate pH-balance of the vulva.

ayesha madon cosmopolitan cover 2
Can't get enough?

The latest issue of Cosmopolitan Australia is out now...

Order your copy now and subscribe to have future issues delivered to your doorstep.

How To Avoid Getting Tired While Giving Head

Extended sessions of cunnilingus can be physically demanding for the giver, but there are a few ways you can avoid discomfort.

“The most popular cunnilingus position is with the receiver on their back,”says Bonnie, “but it also works for them to be lying on the edge of the bed with the giver on the floor.” This position allows for better access without neck or back strain.

To further enhance comfort, consider using pillows or specially designed sex wedges to make it easier to maintain your position without discomfort.

“You might like to prop a pillow under their hips to reach more easily without neck discomfort,” Bonnie recommends. And don’t be afraid to take breaks or slow down—there’s no need to maintain the same pace throughout. This not only prevents fatigue but can build anticipation, further enhancing enjoyment.

How To Overcome Self-Consiousness

It’s common for cunnilingus to bring up feelings of self-consciousness, particularly
around body image and cleanliness. But these insecurities shouldn’t stand in the way of enjoying oral sex.

“Vulvas are like faces,” explains Bonnie. “They’re all unique and they’re not meant to look a certain way, despite the idea that many people get from watching porn.”

One of the most common concerns is about the smell or appearance of the vulva. It’s easy to worry about whether everything is ‘normal,’ but Bonnie reassures us that “vulvas also have a natural smell that is perfectly normal”. This natural scent is a sign of a healthy body, and there’s no need to feel embarrassed or ashamed. Of course, if you’ve had a particularly sweaty day, taking a shower might make you feel more confident, but there’s no need to resort to anything further.

Related: Cosmo’s Tips For Mastering Car Sex

Try Incorporating Sex Toys

Incorporating toys and other tools when going down can take the experience to new heights. “The main tool I recommend incorporating into cunnilingus is your hands,” says Bonnie. Hands can be used in tandem with oral sex to heighten pleasure—gently stroking, teasing, or adding pressure to different areas of the vulva while your mouth is at work.

For those looking to experiment further, vibrators and suction toys can be great additions. “Some people like to use vibrators or suction toys alongside oral stimulation, which is possible too. It’s just a matter of personal preference,” says Bonnie.

VUSH Myth G-Spot Vibrator

$149.99

VUSH Empress Tidal Clitoral Stimulator

$254.99

VUSH Shine G Spot Vibrator

$114.99

This article originally appeared in Issue 02 of Cosmopolitan Australia. Get your copy and subscribe to future issues here.

Sophie Howe
Sophie Howe is a lifestyle journalist, relationship coach and Cosmopolitan Australia’s sex and dating editor. She has written for titles such as The Australian, Wish Magazine, Mansion, New Idea and Mamamia, and she has been featured as an expert in publications including ELLE Australia, Forbes and Refinery29. Outside of office hours, you’ll find her doling out dating advice over drinks with her friends, as well as few strangers on TikTok.
more on...Love
collage of fruit by lillie brown

Lillie Brown Answers Your Most Burning Sex & Relationship Questions

The Pros & Cons Of Being In An Age Gap Relationship

we'd love to see u again!

Sign up to Cosmo's newsletter for all the latest on celeb, style, sex & more...

By signing up, I agree to KK Press’s Terms & Conditions; my information will be used as described in its Privacy Policy